


What do you feel when your heart breaks?

by Evil_Chibi



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Angst, Drabble, M/M, Post Season 9:ep23
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-05-28
Updated: 2014-05-28
Packaged: 2018-01-26 22:43:47
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 330
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1705265
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Evil_Chibi/pseuds/Evil_Chibi
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Castiel's reaction to Metatron's revelation and a look at how that changes his relationship with human emotions.</p>
            </blockquote>





	What do you feel when your heart breaks?

**Author's Note:**

> I needed to get out the pain of season 9. Enjoy and I'm not that sorry.

Castiel could remember in explicit detail what he had felt when he lifted Dean Winchester from perdition. 

He could remember the pride he had felt as he, a little no name angle, had saved the righteous man. He could remember how there had been so much joy in him that he had shouted to the heaven that Dean Winchester was Saved.

More than that, Castiel could remember the love that had flowed through him as he cradled Deans broken soul. Castiel still felt that love though it had evolved into something much more human.

He wished he couldn't remember.

Castiel wished that he had never loved Dean Winchester. He would still have saved him but he wished he didn't know what it was like to love another as he loved Dean, he didn't know if the pain was worth it.

Castiel could feel his heart still beating strong even though it felt as though it had been ripped from his chest. Metatrons words echoed throughout his brain, tering and braking whatever they touched. 

Dean Winchester is Dead.

Castiel didn't want to believe it but he could see the truth in megatron's eyes. A truth that filled Castiel with helplessness. Castiel felt the part of him that was human through his love of Dean shrivel and die. Castiel wished for a way to end the sadness but he knew, deep down, that there wasn't one.

Castiel was doomed to an existence without the light that was Dean. He was doomed to live without the hunter who he trusted his very existence to. Whom he trusted to always have his back, to believe in him when he couldn't believe I himself.

Castiel wished he didn't know human emotions. He wished that he had never fallen, that he had remained an angel.

"I just want to be an angel" he had said. That was Castile's new truth because an angel wouldn't love a human and an angel didn't have a heart to break.


End file.
